Four months and a big thank you ~xx~

My darling boy M,
Yesterday was yet another 23rd that I didnt get to hug you or kiss you, I did tell you how much I love and miss you though as always! You were...actually you still are my whole world I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you. I would have done whatever it would have taken if only you'd reached out, if only you had been willing to let down your guard put aside your pride and let me in, let me know what was really going on and how much you needed help, but like me your pride got in the way, you thought you could fight it. I want to think I can fight THIS!! This never ending want to be by your side.
I want to thank you so very much for finding the strength to be there for me today, I hope you know how much it means to me how much it means to know you didnt really want this to happen that you were just so overwhelmed by the pain and darkness that you made a forever decision without seeing its permanency. I will continue to see the signs, to feel you and see you in my dreams everynight, you dont know how much i look forward to going to sleep now I feel like thats my time with you and it is so very precious to me.
I love you, I always will and now I know you know that!! I know we were meant to be, I know I was so very lucky to have met and married my soul mate, nothing can ever change that!! You always said you'd never stop loving me no matter what, that you'd always be there for me....now i believe it.
Always yours
K
~xx~

Comments

[Leanne (Australia)]

kirstyI wish I can help with this pain you feel. Please you know I am here if you need anything even if it's just someone to give you a hug. Love you mate. My thoughts are always with you.
Leanne xxxxx